Kow pEh KoW BoO

Stupid questions - 06/10/09

2009-10-06T13:55:00.001+08:00

* Phone rings *

Me : ' * inserts shop's name * Good afternoon . '

Idiot : ' New stocks in already or not ? '

Me : ' May I know when was the last time you visited the shop ? ' This is to ascertain whether this customer has already seen the last batch . I do not want to misinform the customer hence causing them to make a wasted trip .

Idiot : ' Erm .... hahaha ... it's been a year since I've been to the shop . '

Me : ' Since it's been so long ago , then I guess everything in the shop is new to you . '

Idiot : ' Hehehe ... ya hor '

A customer tried on a dress which is one size too small for her .

Me : ' It's one size too small and I don't have any in a size that will fit you better . How about trying on another dress ? '

Idiot #2 : ' No . I really like this dress . Is there anyway to expand this dress ? '

Me : ' Expand ? Do you mean to let go of the darts so that it'll be looser ? But even then it still might not be enough , M'am . '

Idiot #2 : ' How about if I pull it everyday ? Do you think it'll expand as the time goes by ? '

Me : ' What do you mean by pull it ? '

Idiot #2 : * makes an exaggerated sigh * ' Pull it lah . I get my Hubby to pull 1 side and me the other everyday . This cotton stretchable right ? So if I keep pulling it , it will expand hor ? '

Me : ' ..............'

Idiot #2 : ' Ok lah , I get this dress . '

Me : ' M'am constant tugging might ' expand ' the dress in ways you might not want it to and I can't gurantee over time the fabric will not be spoilt . I wouldn't recommend it . How about waiting for the next batch of stocks ? You might find something you'll like then ? '

Idiot #2 : ' Don't try to change my mind . I want it . Here's my card . '

By the way , that dress that she's going to 'stretch ' everyday costs $369 . Needless to say , I have not seen her again . Maybe she's still ' stretching ' the dress .

If you like this post , you might like I should get combat pay too ! Part Deux and I should get combat pay too !

My MRT Pet Peeves List

2009-10-01T14:46:00.001+08:00

Guys who sit with their legs wide open . They think they posses elephant balls . I try to minimise any contact with them by trying to sit myself closer to the other side . But Mr Elephant Balls will take advantage of the extra space by opening their legs even wider . NB to the max ! I'll counter attack by crossing my ankle . Example : if Mr Elephant balls is sitting to my left , I'll place my right ankle on my left knee ( do not do this if you are wearing a mini dress / skirt ). In this way , Mr Elephant Balls is helping me clean / wipe my right shoe sole . And it'll also act as an effective barrier against any closer contact with him .
Mummys who wheel in those huge-ass prams into the MRT ( lagi worse if it's in a LRT ) . Fold the goddamn thing if your baby wants to be carried by you . The new fangled prams nowadays are as big as a boar . I'll bite my lip from making any mean remarks if the aforementioned prams actually have their spawns inside . But hell no ! It's usually laden with shopping bags and the toddlers are waddling behind it . Picture this : during peak hour everyone is fighting to get on the train . Then come this family with their pram , mowing down and over anyone and everyone who don't give way to them . In the packed train , the stupid pram is taking up a space that's equivalent to 2 adults . The mum will most probably be carrying their spawn . The dad will be pushing it . Shopping bags filling the pram to the brim . And still acting they deserved the priority seats . Come on ! If your spawn is fussing and wants you to carry him / her , I would truly understand . But in most cases I've witnessed , the pram is just a stand in for a shopping trolley . Then I truly don't understand why the mum deserve to have a seat . Why can't they fold up their pram , make the dad carry the shopping bags . The mum carry their spawn and then we'll talk about people giving up seats for you .
Ladies trimming their nails in the cabin . For God's sake , why the hell can't you do it at home ?!!? I've even witnessed people trimming their toe nails !!! Are they raised by baboons or a result of some inbreeding experiment ??
I dread it when an Ah Hiao( vain pot ) choose to sit beside me . They all seem to be afflicted with constantly-need-to-comb-hair syndrome . They will tie and re-tie their hair . Pin and un-pin . Comb from boarding until they reached their destination . From all these constant activities , stray hairs will eventually land on me . I will unreservedly fling it back to them . Most of them seem surprise by it . Some aren't even aware of it cos they are too enamoured with themselves . But I always count my blessings that even though they are afflicted with constantly-need-to-comb-hair syndrome , at least they are combing the hair on their head and not anywhere else .
I dread rainy days for a couple of reasons . First and foremost , some aunties will try to dry their wet brollys by flipping it left & right . Ensuring that you will be as wet as their brollys . Or worse , they some how can sidle up next to you and press their wet brollys seemingly unbeknownst to them against you . It's akin to being a woken up from a deep sleep by a cold wet dog's nose .
Guys , take note ! Teva are so not sexy ok ! Tak sexy to the max !!! Especially wet Teva . Some guys never seem to outgrow their love for Teva even after their Army days . Guys , if you want to come across as sexy / attractive . Please leave your Teva to your neighbourhood walks . I don't understand how can wet Teva stink so bad . Wet Tevas scent should be harvested , harnessed and used it as a biological weapon . It stinks to high heavens but the wearer never seem to sense it . Wah lau + wah biang multiply nth times ! To me it's like fermented soiled sanitary pads + fermented bean curd + unwashed gym socks + bad body ordor + decomposing carcass + vinegar all mixed together for a jolly good time . Just dump those stinky Teva .
Inconsiderate newspaper readers . There are times when I get slapped by newspapers . Nope , I don't have some SM fetishes going on . I don't understand why they have to open up the pages fully . One can fold it into half. One can also read it half open. But some just need to be at their Lao Peh's ( father's )house and spread open the pages . On some good days , I'll just get fanned by the pages. Some not so good days , I'll get tickled . But on some bad days , I'll get slapped by the papers . I'm never shy when it comes to retaliation . I'll use my trusty handbag ( read about my trusty handbag )and pretend that I've got to conduct an urgent search for something in it . I'll make sure I get a good swing so that it connects not only with the newspapers but with his / her hands . Then I'll go ' Tsk ..tsk ...tsk .. ' at him / her with a shake of my head .
I just plain don't understand why everyone is so kiasu ( afraid to lose out )to plaster themselves right in front of the door to alight even when the train is not even crowded . They'll practically have their nose to the door and very territorial about their first-to-go-out turf . If you were to suay suay ( unfortunate enough ) encroach on their imaginary territory , they spread their legs wide so you can't stand any closer . Or they suddenly find a need to grab on to the hand rail so that you can't go any further . All these antics actually perversely delights me . I appear to encroach on their turf just for the hell of it . But the frustarting part is when it's really time to alight , these kiasu people who are the first to rush to the doors to alight , suddenly go into slo-mo. WTF ?!!? They'll take their own sweet time to alight even though the goddamn MRT doors are already chirping out their closing alarm . Suddenly passengers who are not intially kiasu ,i.e me included , all become kiasee ( afraid to die ) of being kiap ( clamped ) by the MRT doors will jostled around that person trying to get out . If you noticed , the same person usually will be the first wanting to get on the escalator and to take his/her own sweet time to get off the escalator .

Pet peeves will have to be continued on another day cos it takes too much energy to be pissed .

Many of you must be thinking if I kow peh kow boo so much ( hence my blog's name ) about taking the trains , why don't I just forget about it . Unfortunately for me ( and also those passengers that I've abused before ) I'm just a plebian who can't afford daily cab trips and owning a car . I'm staying somewhere ulu whereby there's only one bus running and it takes eons to arrive and it wouldn't get me to my work place . So it seems I have to put up with the train rides and rude passengers will have to put up with me.

Some MRT passengers are damn KNN CCB !!!!

2009-09-30T17:34:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time , I used to be THE model passenger that SMRT would loved to have . However life's a bitch or to be accurate - fellow passengers . I heed all instructions like a silly little lamb . I'll give way to incoming passengers even though they are supposed to give way to alighting passengers first . However , after one too many incidents of me missing my stop cos I spent so much time giving way that the doors closed before I could even alight . I often get shoved and pushed at . None of those I gave way to seem apologetic in anyway , that got me seething with anger . I decide from then on I should just be garang and just chiong !

Being 5 ft nothing in bare feet and weighing 40 kg is no joke if you have to confront all the assholes jamming the doors and not letting you get out . People always assume I am an easy target cos of my petite height . My journey to work requires me to take a LRT , transfer to the North East MRT , then to a North South Mrt ( on days that I'm lazy I'll take a East West Mrt so that it cut down on my walk to my work place ) . So you see , with so many train rides , I have a lot of time and chances to practice my garang exit .

When the train is about to stop at the station that I'm going to alight , I'll steel my shoulders . As usual without fail , pasengers will be jamming the exit and not intending to give way . When the doors open before they barge in , I bash through them making a path by swinging my handbag . My handbag usually weighs about 2 kg on any given day . But if I have my netbook with me , then it should come up to about 4 kg tops . If they are ladies, I like my bag to make contact with their chest area . It gives me great satisfaction and pleasure to hear ' Ouch ! ' , ' Aiyoh ! ' , ' Hey ! ' etc . If they are men , I'll like to swing my bag at their shins or slightly below their crown jewels . If I'm wearing heels , I like to step / stomp on people's feet .Kids often get their heads hammered by my handbag , hopefully after their encounter with me they will be better behaved or at least think better .

However there are a few exceptions to my rule . I will never be garang to senior citizens who looked like they are about to keel over any minute , pregnant women , people with disability or mummys with infants in their arms . The irony is people who fall under these few exceptions of mine can turn out to be the rudest . I find aunties or lau ah soh are really good at barging in . Mummys with prams love to run over people's feet so that they can get to their choice seats. I can't win all the time .

* Ladies if you are reading this and you find the above familiar , you've probably have encountered me . If you are 1 of those assholes who don't give way , then I'm not sorry if I have hurt you . In fact I hope to have more encounters with you .

** I highly recommend Le SportSac bags . They are damn durable :) . Leather bags work even better but cos they are heavy to begin with , you can't swing as many times .

*** If ever you come across an article in the newspapers about a lady being battered to her death by passengers cos of train rage , that will probably be me . At least remember with fondness that you have once read this blog post of mine .

A touching story told via sand drawing

2009-09-23T22:00:00.001+08:00

Kseniya Simonova is a Ukrainian artist who just won Ukraine's version of "America's Got Talent." She uses a giant light box, dramatic music, imagination and "sand painting" skills to interpret Germany's invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII. It had many in the crowd weeping . It is indeed touching .

M18 - Hilarious encounters by some chico peks

2009-09-20T00:26:00.000+08:00

If you are below the age of 18 , please do not read this post . For those who wants to keep their purity of their minds and thoughts , please click on the X on the top right hand corner to exit . For those who are in deep denial that things like that are not discussed in the open aka world wide web , please do likewise too . Ok , I have added enough warnings . So don't come kow peh kow boo when you are disgusted or it insults your morals or what shit .

I chanced upon this thread in a notorious chico pek forum . You must be wondering what the hell is a girl doing , lurking inside a downright disgusting / obscene forum ??!!?? Well for one , I like to know what the hell guys are doing ? You can't find these chats openly discussed especially if they know there are ladies around . They will probably act all innocent and say they don't have first hand knowledge of such stuff . Or the famous excuse , ' It happen to one of my friends lah ... not me hor ' .

It's all quite self explanatory . If you don't understand the acronyms used , I'm not going to further muddy up your thoughts /morals by explaining .

What follows had me ROFL .... click on pictures to enlarge.

Threadstarter aka Victim #1

Here comes Victim #2 to share his encounter with cousin It ....

Apparently there were and are many victims , one related his encounter to the thread starter ...

Another brother came in to share his encounter with another She/He ...
One sentence had me laughing out loud when I read it ' FUCK YOU TOO , YOU THEN UGLY ! '

See if I am a typical girl and who surfs Cozy Cot or Flowerpod and read all the endless inane chit chat about make up and fashion , I would have missed this great tale . It's a tale to me but I bet to those chico peks involved , it's a nuts shrivelling moment .

I love surfing guys' forum , it's so unintentionally hilarious . It's laugh-a-minute . Another forum I get my laughs from is EDMW . It shouldn't be a stranger to most of you .

** Screen captures of ' adventures / encounters ' credits to the chico peks and that chico pek forum .

There goes Sunday ......

2009-09-06T17:31:00.002+08:00

Super Baozi

2009-09-01T22:58:00.001+08:00

This is a hilarious short clip by Sun Haipeng . I wonder where else can I find more of his work . In the meanwhile , enjoy !

Super Baozi vs Sushi man from sun haipeng on Vimeo.

I should get combat pay too ! Part Deux

2009-08-30T18:17:00.005+08:00

Singaporean customers are the worst behaved and the most tiresome creatures on earth ! Education don’t equate to better manners.

I almost titled this post ‘ Close encounters of the titless freaks ‘ . Nope , the titless freaks are not victims of mastectomy . It’s their genetic makeup or maybe God has a sense of humour when He created them. Maybe he ran out of moulding clay ? Or just maybe He made them without tits so that He wants to know how angry , angsty one will get .

Encounter #1

A young working professional looking lady walked in . Let’s call her Titless in Singapore (aka T. I. S ) . While she was browsing through the dresses , I remarked to her that if she need any help , just let me know .

She picked out a grey coloured checkered dress to try . When she emerged from the fitting room , she remarked that the workmanship of the dress was horrid. I was very surprised. I was expecting flaws like holes , snags , stains or something. Did a visible run through and didn’t find anything wrong with it. I asked her what made her said what she said. She said that the seam that runs horizontally across the waist was sewn crookedly and it was not straight. I was really puzzled . I thought she meant that the checks on the dress was not aligned properly or something (and yes , there are women that are anal to check for the proper alignment of the patterns ) . I assumed she meant that . I explained to her it’s impossible to aligned the checks to ‘ sit ‘ perfectly due to the darts and seams sewn into the garment .

She was getting angry at this point . She raised her voice and said , ‘ You don’t get what I’m trying to say are you ? ‘ .

‘ If I don’t get it , please kindly explain so I’ll understand. ‘

‘ Ok , I’ll speak slowly so that you will understand what I’m trying to get across to you . ‘

See what a bitch she can be and that was only just a start to this saga . I held back my retorts and see what she had to say.

‘ Look at this joining here . It dips into a slight U shape . It’s not ‘ normal ‘ right ? ‘

This is how it looked like :

Joining at the waist will dip slightly into a U shape

Of course it’s not meant to dip into a U shape . In fact it’s thoughtfully designed this way. Cos if a normal lady would to wear it , the breasts will prop up the fabric and the joining will then be straight.

This is how it's suppose to look like when the dress is worn by ladies with boobs.

I have to think of a way to put it tactfully to her as she’s a customer after all.

‘ I understand what you are trying to say but cos you are quite petite and slim , there maybe a slight excess of fabric across the chest for you . Hence that explains why the joining at the waist dips . It’s not a flaw . ‘

Any simpleton would have gotten what I’m trying to say . But not Titless In Singapore .

‘ Huh ? I don’t understand . ‘

She looked pissed and thought it’s an excuse I thought up to placate her . So I have to think of another tactful answer.

‘ M’am cos you are pretty slim and a bit ‘ bony ‘ across the chest hence when the dress is loose for you , there’ll be excess fabric and the joining at the waist will dip and will definitely come across as not sewn entirely straight . ‘

For the lack of a better word , I use ‘ bony ‘ .

‘ Then how do you suggest this be rectified ? I love this dress and I want to buy it but only if the problem can be rectified . ‘

‘ You’ll have to get it altered , M’am . ‘

‘ But if I have it altered , will it change the vision of what the designer wants of this dress ? ‘

Bloody hell , does she think she’s buying a piece of Van Gogh or what ? !! ?

‘ No , M’am . If you want the joining to be entirely straight you’ll definitetly need a seamstress to unpick the joining , cut away the excess fabric and it should get rid of the problem. ‘

She gave a loud pronounced sigh .

‘ You don’t understand do you ? I don’t want to change the original look of the dress and thus change the designer’s vision of this dress . I just want the problem solved . ‘ By now she’s had already raised her voice .

I was so bloody pissed with this thick headed titless freak that I know by me explaining it 500 hundred ways , she still won’t get it.

‘ Let’s take a short walk to the seamstress who is located a few shops away and hear what she had to say . ‘

I locked up the shop and escorted her there . I explained to the seamstress what the bitch wanted and asked her to explain what can be done to the dress from a professional point of view .

This seamstress is one diplomatic lady. Immediately she could knew what the problem was and tried to explain it tactfully to her . But it seemed that it was not us who could not comprehend but it’s her who could not wrap her head around the fact that joining not straight ~ excess fabric ~ no tits to prop it up .

Titless In Singapore started insultingly and condescendingly speaking slowly and in Mandarin for the benefit of me and the seamstress. The seamstress was quite surprised someone could be so outright rude but she was too polite/diplomatic to rebutt . I felt so bad for her as there was several customers in her shop witnessing this ‘ event ‘ .

I couldn’t tolerate this shit no more .

With a raised voice I replied , ‘ M’am we can understand English and Mandarin perfectly . But it seems that you are the one who could not seem to comprehend us .

Let me say this slowly and use simpler English so that you can follow , ok ?

The joining at the waist is purposely sewn with a slight dip. When this dress is worn by a normal lady with boobs , the joining at the waist when being propped up by boobs will naturally appear straight . Are you following me ? ‘

I think she was too taken aback by my frankness . She could only nod at my question . The customers and the seamstress were trying their damnest not to laugh .

‘ If you insist on buying this dress and couldn’t lived with the joining not being straight , you’ll definitely got to cut away the excess fabric . Or if you are so worried that it’ll rectify the original vision of the designer then you have to wear a heavily padded bra and maybe then you can get away without having any alteration done . Am I speaking too fast ? Do you want me to translate it into Mandarin ? I can try explaining it in Hokkien too . ‘

Smiles broke out on the faces of the seamstress and her customers .

By now Titless was nodding her head away , albeit a bit embarassed and told the seamstress to go ahead with the alterations . She went back with me to the shop to make payment for the dress. It was all done in stoney silence . I can’t even be bothered to make polite chit chat with her .

Before she left , she thanked me for my service and said she’ll be back when the new stocks arrived .

Good riddance to her and I hope the next time she’s back I’m not around to breathe in the same air as her .

* Miss Tan from Credit Suisse , this post is all about you and this is from me to you

And if you happen to be colleagues of hers ( my condolences ), please help me convey my message to her .

Fuck Bless you Miss Tan , ~~may your breasts grow more concave as the days go by~~ .

** Didn’t expect the rant to go on for so long that Encounter #2 will be delayed ….

I see , I like , I cum .

2009-07-23T23:00:00.004+08:00

On the second floor of the shabby looking building I work in , there used to be a ladies' clothing boutique. Most of the retail shops were and still are OMO - one man operated.

Some years back , on a quiet and idyllic afternoon , screams were heard emanating from that afore mentioned boutique.

A guy was admiring a dress that was displayed on the mannequin. After several long minutes , he picked up his courage and approached the sales assistant. He wanted to try on the dress on the mannequin. The sales assistant was quite taken aback by this bizarre request. She was lost for words. The guy told her that his girlfriend/wife wears the same size as him. He thought that the dress might be an appropriate gift for her but he's unsure of the fit of it thus he wants to try on her behalf before he purchased it. Wanting to close a sale on a quiet afternoon , the sales assistant reluctantly acceded to his strange request.

The man took the dress into the fitting room with a hop and skip in his steps.

After several long minutes of silence with exception of low , muted grunts coming from inside the fitting room, the sales assistant decides to pick up her courage and approached the guy to ask whether her assistance was needed. He answered in a low , strangled voice saying that he's fine and he could ' handle ' it.

The sales assistant by now was feeling a bit nervous and anxious as he's taking quite a long time for one dress. She lied to the customer that she needs a toilet break and she had to lock up the shop and could he hasten up a bit. After another few minutes , the man emerged from the fitting room looking very flushed in the face. He anxiously handed the dress to the sales assistant , said a hurried thanks and said he'll think about it.

The sales assistant was very relieved that the strange man had finally left. She proceeded to bring the dress to put it on the mannequin. As she was tugging the dress over the mannequin , she smelled something funky. She dismissed it thinking she's just too spooked by the recent encounter. Then suddenly she felt something damp and sticky on her palm. To her horror it seemed to be from the dress ! Upon further examination , she found the bodice of the dress is covered with cum. She screamed loudly for help. Her screams could be heard all the way from the first level. Her neighbouring shop owner called the security guards for help. But it was too late , the guy was no where to be found. News of the incident spread quickly to the rest of the shops. Shop to shop searches were done , in case the cum-and-run guy was still in the building. But no such luck.

The sales assistant was badly shaken by the incident. She took a couple days of medical leave and never came back again. The owner of the boutique tried to man the shop herself but it was never the same again. Not long after , the boutique closed for good.

This is not a made up story and it really happened. When I first heard this story , I howled with laughter. Who in the right mind would allow a guy to try on a ladies dress ? I wouldn't , no matter how bad sales are. Then again , the sales assistant was probably very young and very green to the retail scene. I hope by now she has recovered and I probably won't find her working in retail.

To all animal lovers out there , your help is much needed !

2009-07-04T12:37:00.005+08:00

What is $16 to you ? A meal ? A tee ? A drink ? However it means life or death to a dog .

Please visit this site http://www.animalloversleague.com/wordpress/ .

Pets Villa or aka Animal Lovers ' League house over 250 dogs and 500 over cats. Our vision is to maintain pets villa a no-kill zone where the animals are given the liberty to roam about ' . They take in strays , animals that are abused or former pets that are unwanted/abandoned by their owners. They are dependent on donations and volunteers or through the boarding fees that they earn from housing some of the pets boarded there. However , money is never enough. Rental alone is about $12000 , not to mention the nitty gritty costs that goes to maintaining the well being of the animals there.

They are going to hold a mass vaccination , on July 12th , for all the dogs there . They manage to whittle down the fees with the vet from $32 to $16 per dog. I've bet $16 is considered almost negligible to you but your $16 to them it covers a full check up and vaccination against diseases/viruses up to a year for a dog. When was the last time you did something good to an animal ? Please do what you can. I am in no way affiliated to the people who has set up Pets Villa nor do I know them. But I'm trying to help them raise awareness or better still raise some much needed money for the great work they do. So don't just claim you are an animal lover , DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT !

There are many ways you can help them , to donate for the vaccinations call/text Christine @ 97937162 . She'll let you know about the account to Ibank to. They are quite wary about posting up the account number on their site so please do call/text to ask it from her. Christine is holding down a job on top of volunteering at Pets Villa. So please be patient if she does not pick up your calls or texts immediately. However , she'll reply to you as soon as she can.

You can sponsor a dog's stay at Pets Villa at $130 a month . If you are strapped for cash but yet want to help , they are on the constant look out for volunteers . The job encompass picking of poo , bathing the dogs , helping to clean up the shelter , mixing up of food etc . You can email to general@animalloversleague.com , to arrange for a time slot .

Or better still you can ( to quote direct from their site ) ' You can help us by buying us food through Rein Biotech, for every item you buy for us, Rein Biotech will sponsor Pets Villa the same item of equal amount paid for by you. That means, if you buy us 2 packets of dried food, Rein Biotech will send us 4 packets!! ' This is the link if you want to contribuite by buying some animal feed for them http://www.reinbiotech.com/shelters/all/ALLform.jsp .

However if you are typical cynical Singaporean and want to see it for yourself before you donate , please visit them here

Pets Villa
61 Pasir Ris Farmway 3,
Singapore 518232

Map of location

Let me introduce a few of their residents :

Dinner

Meet Dinner who is rescued from some construction workers who were going to have him as dinner.

Choo Choo

Meet Choo Choo . His face is a bit lop sided as he was hit by vehicles.

Eunos

Eunos badly needs funds for her well being . The next pic will depict why

Eunos' vaginal area

Eunos is not under the care of Pets Villa nor is she staying there, however they are trying to help the owner get some funds to help her.

If you can't lend your help in the above mentioned ways , then please help by spreading this post to your friends . I am trying in what little ways I can by spreading the word for them and hopefully in the process get Pets Villa aka Animal League Lovers some much needed funds or help or both.

I repeat :

You can contact Christine @ 97937162

Email them at general@animalloversleague.com.

Or visit them at

Pets Villa
61 Pasir Ris Farmway 3,
Singapore 518232

Please help them in anyway you can , any help you offer will be greatly appreciated especially by the animals.

* Any mistake I may have make with the above post is all mine , you can go to here for better understanding .

Death of An '80s Icon - Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T09:57:00.004+08:00

I was quite taken aback when I've got the news. Bet this will be making the rounds on all entertainment news for the next couple of weeks. All his misdeeds ( or is it alleged ) , his music , his 'eccentric-ness' , his costumes , his videos will be played and replayed on an endless loop.

Last but not least , the passing away of Farrah Fawcett. Many probably are too young to remember her anyway. I got to know her works by watching old reruns and from fashion magazine. Her iconic hairstyle is of course named after her.

It's with the passing of all these icons that make me ponder how many years have passed since I've first hear their music and their works on the boob tube. Somehow I can never forget Michael Jackson in the role of the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. It was first shown in 1978 , I was too young to watched it then. But managed to catch the rerun many years later when it was shown/repeated on our local TV. Brings back great memories.

How time have past .......

Jesus Camp

2009-06-03T23:06:00.002+08:00

If you have the chance to watch the docu movie 'Jesus Camp', you'll agree with me that it's a disturbing comedy. Why do I say that you may ask. Well, the people in this docu has really a warped view of how this world should be.

It's about this bunch of evangelists that's believed with the power Christ, sometimes they call him JC o_0" , they can changed the world. Well, I got nothing to object to if it's as simple and idealistic as how it may sound. BUT ................. they believed that God and the Nation shouldn't be separated. That means in this case USA should be under the rule of God , in their case Christianity, so that with God on their side they'll be blessed, go to heaven and blah blah.... So I guess in that case, USA will be eradicated of other religions or heathens.

This docu is interesting cos there's no third person narration whatsoever so you can form your own opinion. It follows an evangelist pastor on her rounds to educate the heathens and her running of her bible camps. She believes that if Palestine can indoctrinate their children from young to bear arms and go to war against Israel. She don't see why they can't get their children from young and let them "learn" the evangelists' way of going to war against the forces of evil. Evil meaning anything that's not Christian. Isn't it mind boggling , here she condemns the 'evil forces' on how they raise their young but on the other hand , she adopts the same method as them to get the children when they are young.

One evangelist believes that global warming is a thought up political issue, not a fact ! They believed that Bush is a savior of sorts and is also helping them spread the word of Christ. Don't ask me how ?? Maybe he belongs to the evangelist faith too ? There's one scene that had me laughing when they brought out a human sized cut out of George Bush and make the children stand up and hail and greet him ! I shit you not ! The camp helper made them say a prayer for Bush, speak in tongues and some even crawl towards the cut out and touch his feet like he's some kind of messiah ! Wah lan, I guess there's all kind of shit out there. There's this scene whereby before they arrival of the children to the camp ground, the pastor made all the camp helpers walk down the aisles of chairs, with their hands outspread, saying a prayer at the same time to bless all the furniture, gadgets, lights etc, so that it wouldn't fail cos if it does, that means it's the work of Satan. Talk about being nuts !

It's quite disturbing to see children crying, go into a trance, even fits ! Speaking in tongues cos the holy spirit is amongst them etc etc....... It's like a summer camp of brain washing. Normal things that's part of your childhood are also works of Satan. Ghost story telling during camp nights are evil. Harry Potter is evil and satanic .

Watch the docu if you have the opportunity.

This docu will either make a believer out of you or an even bigger cynic. Well, of course I'm the latter. I don't see them any different from how Taliban raise their kids. Ok with exception of bearing arms. But other than that, they together with all the different hate groups, raise the children with judgements. They don't raise children with an open mind and let them form an opinion by themselves. Any opinions that differ from their doctrine is "evil". How warp this world is growing to be. Humans are going to be the eventual downfall of the human race.

I luuuurve this vid - Sir Fartsalot Vs The Dragon

2009-06-02T23:24:00.003+08:00

Sir Fartsalot vs The Dragon from Aaron Blecha on Vimeo.

Trim the bush to make the tree look taller

2009-05-28T23:22:00.003+08:00

Pic credits

Here's an instructional vid ( nothing pornographic ) by Gillette for guys on how to trim your ' bush ' . The tagline made me LOL - Trim the bush to make the tree look taller . Enjoy !

Everything can be gotten online - even a boyfriend

2009-05-24T16:40:00.005+08:00

Pic credits

I am really hooked on shopping sprees online . Everything and anything can be gotten online.

I've bought vitamins , condoms , shoes , accessories , bags , cosmetics , skin care , spectacles , contact lenses , painkillers , clothes , lingerie , pets ( !!! ) , Clocky the runaway clock , Cornery popcorn , nachos with melted cheese ( from the same supplier of Golden Village Cinemas ) etc , too many to list .

I have saved tons of money but then again I have also spent tons of money on things I didn't know I need till I seen them online.

Spreeing online has also taken out joys from physical shopping . I hardly shopped at malls nowadays.

And when I do , I'll usually remarked to my boyfriend ,

' I know where to get that online and at a much cheaper price. Don't buy ! '.

' These are so overpriced , let me go order online for you . '

' OMG , these designs are ripped off from this so-and-so site . I'll send you the link to buy it from. '

' Aiyo , everything in Artbox can be bought from Gmarket . '

So much so that my irritated boyfriend remarked ,

' What can't you get off the internet ?!!? '

' Hey don't get pissy about it , after all didn't I get you from the internet ? ' I remarked.

Pic credits

* P/ s : I got to know my boyfriend from a pets forum . See how wonderful the world wide web can be .

I should get combat pay too !

2009-04-12T16:25:00.002+08:00

Whoever has / had worked in the service line before would totally agree with my title. I meet absurd , riduculous to down right stupid people almost everyday. I work in a boutique that sell chinese clothing , mainly cheongsams with a twist.

Incident 1

A 40+ atas acting tai tai stepped into the shop.

' This bland from where har ? ( bland = brand )

This is a local brand . How can I help you ? I said.

Your plice is like wat har ? ( Plice = price )

It ranges from $229 to $1009 .

Wah.... so cheap ar , I never wear so cheap clothes before .... I buy many cheongsams from Shanghai Tang you know. I collect cheongsams.

Oh ... is it ? Good for you . I replied wryly.

Miss ar , u gibe me size mejium can or not. I want to tly this dless . ( gibe = give , mejium = medium , tly = try and dless = dress ) '

After several minutes of utter silence , I asked ' Do you need my help with the dresses ? '

' Wah biang miss ar .... you must tell your boss your cutting no good ar. The tailors are from where ? The cutting so bad . '

' May I have a look ? Maybe I can be of some help and look for some other dresses for you ? '

She opened the curtains and I have to bite my tongue from roaring with laughter. The ' Cheongsam Collector ' had worn the cheongsam back to front !!! I wonder how anyone can achieve that.

' See your cutting so bad . How you all expect customer to wear this har ? Cannot buttton one. '

' Sorry , you had worn the cheongsam back to front. It's the other way round. '

' Orh .... paiseh. I thought you all modern one , so your mandarin collar very high and you button from the back one. '

She hurriedly went back to the fitting room and exited in no time.

' Paiseh hor miss , I think not suitable for me lah. '

' It's ok , no worries . '

' Miss ar , I vely long time neh go Shanghai Tang liao. I heard they have move from Chinatown liao ? You know they go where or not har ? '

' ....... !!!!!!!!! ........ ' Shocked into silence.

' You oso dunno where they move to also har , neh mind lah , I go ask someone else. Thank q hor. '
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Incident 2

* Phone rings *

' Hello . Good afternoon.

Hi , is this ( name of shop ) ?

Yes , how may I help you ?

Do you all sell old ladies clothes ?

I beg your pardon ? !! ?

DO YOU ALL SELL OLD LADIES CLOTHES ?

Sir , we sell Chinese inspired clothing with a twist . It's not age specific so it's neither ' young ' nor ' old ' .

But you got clothes suitable for old ladies lah ? Ok , I ask my wife to go down and buy her dress . '

' ....... '

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Incident 3

* Phone rings *

' Hi , may I enquire with you whether you do any customisations ?

Hi , if you mean custom tailoring , no sorry we don't. It's because we don't have an in-house tailor here.

So you all don't custom tailoring ?

No, sorry we don't. I repeated.

Do you all do made to measure ?

As I have said we don't have a tailor within the shop , we don't. All of our dresses are done abroad.

So if I give you all fabric , buttons and the pattern , can you make a dress for me according to the design I want ?

Sorry , we don't do customisations , custom tailoring or made to measure , you have to get someone else.

Orh , ok . One last question , how about if I just want a simple dress. Can you all make it for me or not ? '

' ......... '

These are just some mundane examples of what I encounter almost every week. Will do a part 2 soon.

How do you deal with people who steal your ideas ????

2008-09-21T17:34:00.006+08:00

Pic source

My boyfriend has always loves art. He even majored in it in Uni and now is teaching it thus hoping to share his loves with many young minds. Very wei da right ?

After he left Uni, he and a couple of his Uni friends keeps in touch with each other via email, meet ups and sms-es. They bounce ideas they have about art off each other , seeking opinions or other perspectives.

While in Uni , he did a performance cum installation piece which gained quite a good critique from his lecturer. I'm not going to say too much about the project without making it too easily identifiable to the friends of Biatch. Only those in the same class as she and my boyfriend would know whose idea it was. Straight after my boyfriend's critique session, she zoomed towards my boyfriend and asked for a copy of the video of his artwork. When my boyfriend told me about it, I was quite puzzled. Why does she need a copy of the video for ? If she need it for future reference, she can always rely on the comprehensive notes that was provided to each classmate. Being the nice guy that he is, my boyfriend said yes. He asked her the reason for it. She said that she might want to adapt his idea for a performance piece that she was thinking of doing. I asked my boyfriend how trustworthy is she ? He said give her benefit of the doubts, maybe she really need it for referencing. I told my boyfriend to edit the video and give her snippets and watermark all of it. Call me cynical if you like.

Fast forward about 6 months later. I received this invite from 1 of my friend working in SAM - Singapore Art Museum for this event

Open – Autumn Party 08

Lo and behold I saw her name mentioned. When I read what she was going to do , I was hopping mad !!! She ripped the entire idea - WHOLSALE - from my boyfriends project. I thought when she mentioned that she was going to adapt it , meant that she might use different materials, different media etc. Not WHOLESALE !!!! I felt so bad for my boyfriend. I was with him when he came up with the idea. Went back to Uni in the wee hours of the morning, went without sleep to complete it and now , Biatch just conveniently copied it and performed it in front of an audience and basked in the accolades. But it was too late to do anything. Even if I were to informed my friend who works in SAM, what can he do ? He don't have the time to get a replacement as the performers' names are printed on all the invites.

My boyfriend heard from friends that she actually had intentions to use his video for her interview at SAM for her piece. Wow, she really has no shame ! But it can't be confirmed whether eventually did she use it during the interview cos my boyfriend's name is watermarked all over the video.

I asked my boyfriend whether he wants to confront her. He said what's the use , it's too late as she's going to perform in a matter of hours and he don't want to make things ugly between them. He said at least he now knows sometimes it is good to be selfish instead of always thinking of the greater good by sharing resources and ideas amongst friends and fellow artists. If one is doing the sharing all the time while others just sit there and do the taking and claimed that it's their work to one and all , where's the fucking fairness ????? This also boils down to ethics , or the lack therof of hers.

I was telling my boyfriend he should teach this as a lesson to his students about plagiarism , ethics and most important of all watermarking. You'll never know how important it is until you encounter it.

Hey Biatch ( or friends of Biatch ) if you are reading this, I hope you do feel some shame. Shame on you for stealing ideas. If you proclaimed yourself as a committed and practising artist , please give credits when it's due and don't proclaim that it's your idea all along. I believe in karma . It's only a matter of time before it catches up with you. I wonder how many more artists' ideas you are going to rip off before you get your just deserts.

P/s : Her final year graduating art project was also taken wholesale from my boyfriend during one of their brain storming sessions.

So much for creativity huh ??

Is it a bat ? A raquet ? WTH issit ?

2008-09-08T22:47:00.004+08:00

So what exactly is this ???? Well this is a tool for some. To me this is becoming a necessity to life , ok my life to be exact .

If you live in an ulu part of an island whereby you are subjected to all kinds of bugs and beetles invasion after a shower or downpour , you will understand.

Some of you should have guessed it by now that it's a electronic ( battery operated ) bug zapper. I get all kinds of bugs and beetles after a rain shower. I often have to resort to cutting off all the lights or closing all the windows. Somehow there's always one bug or beetle that manage to squirm in through god knows what and which gap. I'll be leaping around looking sillier than a Lemur, trying my darnest to squash the bug. Often to no avail as I'm quite height challenged and there's always this corner that they manage to buzz into. I'll be so bugged out , pun intended , by the flying and bzz-ing by all the bugs that I only have one resort left - on the air con.

During spring cleaning , I'm often the undertaker for all these " frozen " bugs/beetles carcasses. I could have made my career as THE Undertaker , ok maybe more like the vertically challenged Bug Undertaker. Somehow the latter doesn't sound as good as the former. Oh well .....

I was egging my boyfriend on to visit Mustafa again. I vaguely remember coming across this item there. I was so happy when I manage to find it. The price of it is not too bad too. It's going at a price of .... * takes in a breath * ......* suspense * ..... * exhale *...... $3.50 . Batteries not included. I got the red one and my boyfriend the yellow . I kept pyscho-ing him that it's so cheap , why not get one ? So cheap right ...... Even if it ends up as a white elephant , it's still a cheap white elephant. Unlike Buangkok MRT. Ok , I know, not funny. Don't report to mata har. Then comes the suspense of whether the hell will this swatter work ??? Buying stuff from Mustafa is always a gamble , for me lah. My dear boyfriend ever bought Kool Aid from there and came back home to discover that it's very " solid " . Solid like a rock !!! It's so "solid" that I can't jab a spoon in to try to loosen the powder. I even resort to standing on a chair and hurling the container of Kool Aid to the floor cos I GIAN Kool Aid badly at that moment . Nothing came loose inside !!!! I know I got my feral moments but have to leave it for another day to talk about that side of me. Ok, back to the swatter. I was crossing my fingers. I would have crossed my eyes but how am I going to cross the road ? I could have cross my legs but how am I going to walk. Oh well, you all get the picture....

When I reached home, I immediately zoomed to look for batteries. Then come the moment of the truth. When I pressed the tiny button at the side of the swatter ...... pzzt....pzzt..... Yeah ! Got sound means it works ! Me very naive hor .

We wanted to look for test subjects but couln't find any . Why like that ?!!!? I was so hyped up to see some bug juice !!!!!! Don't tell me I have to wait for rain ...... * wails *. I stomped to the kitchen to quench my thirst and lo and behold, I saw a flying gnat/bug. I shouted for the bug swatter. To be more accurate I shouted for my boyfriend to bring the bug swatter. I don't why God always likes to play mean tricks on me. The bloody gnat/bug flew too high, beyond my reach. Even when I'm standing on a chair. So my boyfriend has the homours of zapping the swatters first kill. It gave off a loud zack ( I don't know how to spell out accurate electronic bug kills ) and the gnat/bug becomes dust , literally.

From the day I bought the swatter until now, all the bugs , beetles and gnats seemed to have gooten their own internal alert mail. Do not fly to Kow Peh Kow Boo's house, you'll turn to dust !!! I have yet to get my first " kill ".

But ........ did I mention that it's raining now ....... * laughs hysterically *........

My Family and Autism

2008-08-24T22:17:00.002+08:00

I have just watched a documentary named My Family and Autism. It's an awe inspiring documentary to me cos it's about a single mother raising 7 children ( that's already bad enough ) but amongst the 7 children, 4 of the boys are autistic. They have slight abilities ranging from attention deficit, asperger's to of course autism. Half the docu is partly through the eyes of one of her son who despite having autism wrote 2 books about his condition. Seeing his family through his eyes , his mum's point of view and the producer take of the family is really interesting. Really hats of to the mum for her patience and love for her family. Go watch it !

Why did I do this ???

2008-08-24T19:38:00.004+08:00

Friends would ask me . Why on earth do you start a blog for ? Is it an avenue to vent your rants, whines, grumbles, complaints etc ergo kow peh kow boo ? In a way , yes. My boyfriend ever asked me , do you think people blog so as to let others read about your life ? Cos if it's just a diary albeit it's online and any Tom, Ah Beng or Samat can chanced upon it and read about your life. It won't be private anymore. He has a point. In the good old days of yore, diaries are usually written in a code language akin to pig latin or stashed away in some hard to find corner. Only to be read by your truly.

At this day and age, almost everyone has a blog of some sort. I know , you are probably waving your hands in the air madly saying, ' I don't have leh. ' Nope, you are wrong, almost everyone has either a Facebook account or a Friendster account right ? Most probably even both. To me that's also a form of a blog. You need not write long comprehensive posts to update your friends about the going-ons in your life. A one liner would do, for eg, ' Beware, I am PMS-ing ' or ' Feeling horny ? Call xxx at 90xx xxxx ' . Insert the name and number of the person you hate. Oh well, I'm sure you all get the gist of what I'm trying to say by now.

As for me whenever I am troubled or frustrated , I'll think better if I can put pen to paper. Cos by writting you are actually putting your thoughts into words. It makes me reflect on why makes me think this way, why did I say the things I said etc. It's also a self reflection process for me. My ex and current boyfriends are usually the recipients of my notes, letters, emails, instant messages etc. Don't you feel frustrated when you are having arguements or quarrels, you don't get to voice out everything ? Or some things are best said not face to face , especially when you know that it's goingto hurt that person's pride or ego. But yet not saying it, might cause your temper to boil and stew over it. So I discovered the best thing for me to do is write it down and you have the option to give the note to that person or just throw it away. Take it as, you are your own psychiatrist. Trust me, I would have gone mad with frustrations if I haven't ' discover ' this method to ' heal thyself '. I worked in the retail industry for so long, I have many frustrations. I have often blogged about it in my previous blog. Well, there's more to come.....look out for it.