Some MRT passengers are damn KNN CCB !!!!

Once upon a time , I used to be THE model passenger that SMRT would loved to have . However life's a bitch or to be accurate - fellow passengers . I heed all instructions like a silly little lamb . I'll give way to incoming passengers even though they are supposed to give way to alighting passengers first . However , after one too many incidents of me missing my stop cos I spent so much time giving way that the doors closed before I could even alight . I often get shoved and pushed at . None of those I gave way to seem apologetic in anyway  , that got me seething with anger . I decide from then on I should just be garang and just chiong !

Being 5 ft nothing in bare feet and weighing 40 kg is no joke if you have to confront all the assholes jamming the doors and not letting you get out . People always assume I am an easy target cos of my petite height . My journey to work requires me to take a LRT , transfer to the North East MRT , then to a North South Mrt ( on days that I'm lazy I'll take a East West Mrt so that it cut down on my walk to my work place ) . So you see , with so many train rides , I have a lot of time and chances to practice my garang exit .

When the train is about to stop at the station that I'm going to alight , I'll steel my shoulders . As usual without fail , pasengers will be jamming the exit and not intending to give way . When the doors open before they barge in , I bash through them making a path by swinging my handbag . My handbag usually weighs about 2 kg on any given day . But if I have my netbook with me , then it should come up to about 4 kg tops . If they are ladies, I like my bag to make contact with their chest area . It gives me great satisfaction and pleasure to hear ' Ouch ! ' , ' Aiyoh ! ' , ' Hey ! ' etc . If they are men , I'll like to swing my bag at their shins or slightly below their crown jewels . If I'm wearing heels , I like to step / stomp on people's feet .Kids often get their heads hammered by my handbag , hopefully after their encounter with me they will be better behaved or at least think better .

However there are a few exceptions to my rule . I will never be garang to senior citizens who looked like they are about to keel over any minute , pregnant women , people with disability or mummys with infants in their arms . The irony is people who fall under these few exceptions of mine can turn out to be the rudest . I find aunties or lau ah soh are really good at barging in . Mummys with prams love to run over people's feet so that they can get to their choice seats. I can't win all the time .

* Ladies if you are reading this and you find the above familiar , you've probably have encountered me . If you are 1 of those assholes who don't give way , then I'm not sorry if I have hurt you . In fact I hope to have more encounters with you .

** I highly recommend Le SportSac bags . They are damn durable :) . Leather bags work even better but cos they are heavy to begin with , you can't swing as many times .

*** If ever you come across an article in the newspapers about a lady being battered to her death by passengers cos of train rage , that will probably be me . At least remember with fondness that you have once read this blog post of mine .