I should get combat pay too ! Part Deux

Singaporean customers are the worst behaved and the most tiresome creatures on earth ! Education don’t equate to better manners.

I almost titled this post ‘ Close encounters of the titless freaks ‘ . Nope , the titless freaks are not victims of mastectomy . It’s their genetic makeup or maybe God has a sense of humour when He created them. Maybe he ran out of moulding clay ? Or just maybe He made them without tits so that He wants to know how angry , angsty one will get .

Encounter #1

A young working professional looking lady walked in . Let’s call her Titless in Singapore (aka T. I. S ) . While she was browsing through the dresses , I remarked to her that if she need any help , just let me know .

She picked out a grey coloured checkered dress to try . When she emerged from the fitting room , she remarked that the workmanship of the dress was horrid. I was very surprised. I was expecting flaws like holes , snags , stains or something. Did a visible run through and didn’t find anything wrong with it. I asked her what made her said what she said. She said that the seam that runs horizontally across the waist was sewn crookedly and it was not straight. I was really puzzled . I thought she meant that the checks on the dress was not aligned properly or something (and yes , there are women that are anal to check for the proper alignment of the patterns ) . I assumed she meant that . I explained to her it’s impossible to aligned the checks to ‘ sit ‘ perfectly due to the darts and seams sewn into the garment .

She was getting angry at this point . She raised her voice and said , ‘ You don’t get what I’m trying to say are you ? ‘ .

‘ If I don’t get it , please kindly explain so I’ll understand. ‘

‘ Ok , I’ll speak slowly so that you will understand what I’m trying to get across to you . ‘

See what a bitch she can be and that was only just a start to this saga . I held back my retorts and see what she had to say.

‘ Look at this joining here . It dips into a slight U shape . It’s not ‘ normal ‘ right ? ‘

This is how it looked like :

Joining at the waist will dip slightly into a U shape

Of course it’s not meant to dip into a U shape . In fact it’s thoughtfully designed this way. Cos if a normal lady would to wear it , the breasts will prop up the fabric and the joining will then be straight.

This is how it's suppose to look like when the dress is worn by ladies with boobs.

I have to think of a way to put it tactfully to her as she’s a customer after all.

‘ I understand what you are trying to say but cos you are quite petite and slim , there maybe a slight excess of fabric across the chest for you . Hence that explains why the joining at the waist dips . It’s not a flaw . ‘

Any simpleton would have gotten what I’m trying to say . But not Titless In Singapore .

‘ Huh ? I don’t understand . ‘

She looked pissed and thought it’s an excuse I thought up to placate her . So I have to think of another tactful answer.

‘ M’am cos you are pretty slim and a bit ‘ bony ‘ across the chest hence when the dress is loose for you , there’ll be excess fabric and the joining at the waist will dip and will definitely come across as not sewn entirely straight . ‘

For the lack of a better word , I use ‘ bony ‘ .

‘ Then how do you suggest this be rectified ? I love this dress and I want to buy it but only if the problem can be rectified . ‘

‘ You’ll have to get it altered , M’am . ‘

‘ But if I have it altered , will it change the vision of what the designer wants of this dress ? ‘

Bloody hell , does she think she’s buying a piece of Van Gogh or what ? !! ?

‘ No , M’am . If you want the joining to be entirely straight you’ll definitetly need a seamstress to unpick the joining , cut away the excess fabric and it should get rid of the problem. ‘

She gave a loud pronounced sigh .

‘ You don’t understand do you ? I don’t want to change the original look of the dress and thus change the designer’s vision of this dress . I just want the problem solved . ‘ By now she’s had already raised her voice .

I was so bloody pissed with this thick headed titless freak that I know by me explaining it 500 hundred ways , she still won’t get it.

‘ Let’s take a short walk to the seamstress who is located a few shops away and hear what she had to say . ‘

I locked up the shop and escorted her there . I explained to the seamstress what the bitch wanted and asked her to explain what can be done to the dress from a professional point of view .

This seamstress is one diplomatic lady. Immediately she could knew what the problem was and tried to explain it tactfully to her . But it seemed that it was not us who could not comprehend but it’s her who could not wrap her head around the fact that joining not straight ~ excess fabric ~ no tits to prop it up .

Titless In Singapore started insultingly and condescendingly speaking slowly and in Mandarin for the benefit of me and the seamstress. The seamstress was quite surprised someone could be so outright rude but she was too polite/diplomatic to rebutt . I felt so bad for her as there was several customers in her shop witnessing this ‘ event ‘ .

I couldn’t tolerate this shit no more .

With a raised voice I replied , ‘ M’am we can understand English and Mandarin perfectly . But it seems that you are the one who could not seem to comprehend us .

Let me say this slowly and use simpler English so that you can follow , ok ?

The joining at the waist is purposely sewn with a slight dip. When this dress is worn by a normal lady with boobs , the joining at the waist when being propped up by boobs will naturally appear straight . Are you following me ? ‘

I think she was too taken aback by my frankness . She could only nod at my question . The customers and the seamstress were trying their damnest not to laugh .

‘ If you insist on buying this dress and couldn’t lived with the joining not being straight , you’ll definitely got to cut away the excess fabric . Or if you are so worried that it’ll rectify the original vision of the designer then you have to wear a heavily padded bra and maybe then you can get away without having any alteration done . Am I speaking too fast ? Do you want me to translate it into Mandarin ? I can try explaining it in Hokkien too . ‘

Smiles broke out on the faces of the seamstress and her customers .

By now Titless was nodding her head away , albeit a bit embarassed and told the seamstress to go ahead with the alterations . She went back with me to the shop to make payment for the dress. It was all done in stoney silence . I can’t even be bothered to make polite chit chat with her .

Before she left , she thanked me for my service and said she’ll be back when the new stocks arrived .

Good riddance to her and I hope the next time she’s back I’m not around to breathe in the same air as her .

* Miss Tan from Credit Suisse , this post is all about you and this is from me to you

And if you happen to be colleagues of hers ( my condolences ), please help me convey my message to her .

Fuck Bless you Miss Tan , may your breasts grow more concave as the days go by .

** Didn’t expect the rant to go on for so long that Encounter #2 will be delayed ….