I should get combat pay too !

Whoever has / had worked in the service line before would totally agree with my title. I meet absurd , riduculous to down right stupid people almost everyday. I work in a boutique that sell chinese clothing , mainly cheongsams with a twist.

Incident 1

A 40+ atas acting tai tai stepped into the shop.

' This bland from where har ? ( bland = brand )

This is a local brand . How can I help you ? I said.

Your plice is like wat har ? ( Plice = price )

It ranges from $229 to $1009 .

Wah.... so cheap ar , I never wear so cheap clothes before .... I buy many cheongsams from Shanghai Tang you know. I collect cheongsams.

Oh ... is it ? Good for you . I replied wryly.

Miss ar , u gibe me size mejium can or not. I want to tly this dless . ( gibe = give , mejium = medium , tly = try and dless = dress ) '

After several minutes of utter silence , I asked ' Do you need my help with the dresses ? '

' Wah biang miss ar .... you must tell your boss your cutting no good ar. The tailors are from where ? The cutting so bad . '

' May I have a look ? Maybe I can be of some help and look for some other dresses for you ? '

She opened the curtains and I have to bite my tongue from roaring with laughter. The ' Cheongsam Collector ' had worn the cheongsam back to front !!! I wonder how anyone can achieve that.

' See your cutting so bad . How you all expect customer to wear this har ? Cannot buttton one. '

' Sorry , you had worn the cheongsam back to front. It's the other way round. '

' Orh .... paiseh. I thought you all modern one , so your mandarin collar very high and you button from the back one. '

She hurriedly went back to the fitting room and exited in no time.

' Paiseh hor miss , I think not suitable for me lah. '

' It's ok , no worries . '

' Miss ar , I vely long time neh go Shanghai Tang liao. I heard they have move from Chinatown liao ? You know they go where or not har ? '

' ....... !!!!!!!!! ........ ' Shocked into silence.

' You oso dunno where they move to also har , neh mind lah , I go ask someone else. Thank q hor. '
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Incident 2

* Phone rings *

' Hello . Good afternoon.

Hi , is this ( name of shop ) ?

Yes , how may I help you ?

Do you all sell old ladies clothes ?

I beg your pardon ? !! ?

DO YOU ALL SELL OLD LADIES CLOTHES ?

Sir , we sell Chinese inspired clothing with a twist . It's not age specific so it's neither ' young ' nor ' old ' .

But you got clothes suitable for old ladies lah ? Ok , I ask my wife to go down and buy her dress . '

' ....... '

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Incident 3

* Phone rings *

' Hi , may I enquire with you whether you do any customisations ?

Hi , if you mean custom tailoring , no sorry we don't. It's because we don't have an in-house tailor here.

So you all don't custom tailoring ?

No, sorry we don't. I repeated.

Do you all do made to measure ?

As I have said we don't have a tailor within the shop , we don't. All of our dresses are done abroad.

So if I give you all fabric , buttons and the pattern , can you make a dress for me according to the design I want ?

Sorry , we don't do customisations , custom tailoring or made to measure , you have to get someone else.

Orh , ok . One last question , how about if I just want a simple dress. Can you all make it for me or not ? '

' ......... '

These are just some mundane examples of what I encounter almost every week. Will do a part 2 soon.